Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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