fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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