I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
