Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize