I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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