the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
