He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
