things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
