That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
