It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
