Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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