dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize