he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You are a genius and a whore.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
