that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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