Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
