dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
two words...techno handjob
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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