I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize