pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
