guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize