I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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