YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
