i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
