Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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