As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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