Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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