Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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