I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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