I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize