About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
