pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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