you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
