He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
