omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
