see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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