if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
