Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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