there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
