STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
