I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
