me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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