So drunk its hurt
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
