hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
