YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
