I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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