Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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