hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
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