at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize