I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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