How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
