He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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