I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
