Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Houston, we have a squirter
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
