how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
