watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
try to milk me bitch
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