I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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