it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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