hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
