She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
