My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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