I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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