You work out of a Hotel?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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