Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
