I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
smell my finger.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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