whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
