so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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