My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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