Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His hands were made for my vagina.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
