we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
