There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
