dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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