we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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