Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize